I’m Going to Use AI for EVERYTHING

It’s another short post from yours truly. I’ve been writing a little less as of late, as my life and priorities have been tougher on me recently. However, I hatched an ingenious idea of what to do to increase the amount of content on this blog just a few days ago. It struck me while I was doing one of my early morning runs when I slipped on a frozen puddle of urine and struck myself in the head. When I came to in the emergency room, the idea, while it had been germinating prior, was now firmly entrenched within my mind:

I’m going to use AI-generated content from here on out!

Yep, pay no mind to the fact that I’ve only ever really discussed AI once on this site before. But if lawyers can use it to fabricate cases and students can abuse it as the new plagiarism, why can’t I have an AI just write a lot of articles for this site in record time? I mean, really, why hasn’t anybody else ever done this? (Ignore the obvious irony in myself writing this post without any AI assistance whatsoever.)

Wouldn’t Quality Suffer?

Pay no mind to quality! Everybody knows the saying is quantity over quality. How else could anybody learn about basic bash commands they could read about nearly anywhere else? Where else would my kind readers get their dose of awkward and generic grammatical conventions?

People need what they’ve read everywhere else. New things scare them! It’s why content farms are so outrageously successful, right? It’s why Barenaked Ladies wrote that song, “It’s All Been Done,” because it really has all been done before! That surely has to be the reason. I couldn’t imagine anything else providing a more compelling perspective.

Who Else Uses AI?

I’ll be the first to admit I was inspired by quite possibly the most popular YouTuber of all time: Kwebbelkop. He revolutionized the idea of using AI to generate content by having videos entirely created from all sorts of AI-based technology. When his fanbase discovered this fact, they were blown away by his foresight. Clearly, Kwebbelkop is a pioneer for what the future of the internet is going to look like.

Pay no mind to that like and dislikes bar, though. It’s clear that somebody just has it out for our brilliant thinker. People who dare to make videos the old fashioned way are bombarding his videos with dislike bots because they can’t handle how Kwebbelkop changed the landscape so soon. They laughed at Galileo when he said the Earth was in space, after all. But seriously, this video was only uploaded a day ago, and he already has over 12,000 views as of the time I publish this. That’s outrageously impressive, especially when you consider he has over 15 million subscribers.

Kwebbelkop clearly took cues from Sir Isaac Newton, a man who once stated that he saw further by standing atop the shoulders of giants. Of course, I am a mere Lilliputian scaling the summit that is Kwebbelkop’s shoulder. Maybe from here I’ll be able to see how Newton’s grave is doing these days.

In short, it’s a brilliant strategy, and I know it’s going to work because a YouTuber with millions of subscribers uses it. It’s a clear case of argumentum ad verecundiam, as the Ancient Greek philosophers would have called it.

More People Who Use AI!

Just as Kwebbelkop is acting as a modern-day trailblazer with his use of AI, I plan to pivot even further. From now on, I’m going to run several programs to automate parts of my life with AI. I’ll try using AI to substitute my thinking from now on as well. Surely I’m not the first person to attempt this.

And you know the best part? AI doesn’t need to be paid for its labor. Just ask the mastermind Billy Coull, the creative genius behind “Willy’s Chocolate Experience” in Glasgow, Scotland. Aside from using AI to plan the intricacies and details of such an immersive and unforgettable experience for Willy Wonka fans everywhere, he also used AI to create and publish a dozen novels in 2023 alone.

Only AI could write such compelling experiences. In fact, to accommodate the average TikTok user’s attention span, the novel is fragmented into several small paragraphs spaced apart like that of ChatGPT’s output. Additionally, The Biohazard Protocol only runs for 82 pages in length, making it a perfectly succinct adventure anybody can pick up and read! J.K. Rowling is likely cowering in fear as she rushes to finish her eleventh full-length Harry Potter book, because Billy Coull is coming to pocket her bank account. Children are going to be studying The Biohazard Protocol in schools for decades as their literature teachers explore Billy’s brilliant use of having random characters pop in and out of the narrative unannounced.

In short, it’s clear that Billy Coull has used AI for everything in his life. It’s high time I started to do the same with my own efforts. I’ll be able to break that hurdle of 50,000 words for the next NaNoWriMo before I know it!

Isn’t This a Bad Idea?

To the handful of naysayers who think this would tarnish the rather thoughtful and careful writing of the site, I already looked into it. Search engines would love how great the site would be if I relied on solely AI-generated content from here on out!

Ignore that other part about thoughtlessly abusing AI. I’m sure Google just hasn’t noticed how revolutionary AI is. I know they call this policy “EEAT,” but they’re going to be EEATing their words once they retroactively change their views any day now. We’ve already used AI for all sorts of great, groundbreaking things, like letting people who’ve never practiced art draw people with seven fingers, raising Kurt Cobain from the dead to perform “MMMbop,” or finding ways to make Taylor Swift appealing at NFL games. Why can’t I use this technology for the site? You know what they say: Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

I’m Convinced!

Look out for some delicious AI-generated content in the following days. You’ll likely start seeing it soon with some thought-provoking posts that would make the likes of WatchMojo and their content-farming associates gawk in amazement. Yep, there’s totally tons of content ready to go at a moment’s notice. As Denny in The Room once said, “Yeah, it’s coming. It’ll be here in a few minutes.” It’s not like anything bad happened to Denny moments after he uttered those words. In the meantime, keep your eyes peeled for the last batch of human-created content on my blog. Additionally, I hope everybody enjoyed the end of March yesterday. 😉